untitled poem "You" [with audio!]


You who cannot see in me your end, I cry for you, but not the way it sounds, with a different sense of for you
You took me then and promised me and used me and you knew me and I, you, at least I thought it was you
You with new chosen routes and a room at least for whatever believes, like a gesture repeated without cause, for you
You now as interested in me as an airport in a country never visited where everyone would recognize me if they were shown to you
You as you are and whoever you are and whatever love was and whoever I am not I am not you
You with whom I shared a space where distance was wished away but was I ever really alone there with you
You've become a form of ballistics, tracing the passage of dreams to nightmares, leading the lambs that follow you
You risked what again for the time you couldn't be alone in any more but there is nothing in the alone but you
You fade only at the extreme, a highway on the plains, where lines meet infinity, a break before moving on, ever seeking you
You are the unstoppable killer and I the last girl, but you never close in and end me and I know something is out there, it's you
You have cameos and speaking parts and I am trained, I never try to look directly, never seek to speak between I and you
You are surely a ghost if not the dead kind and I am a house falling into steady ruin and it is the walls themselves crying out, not you 
You might've had the right idea, not letting the past exist in the present, the skin of snake behind and the shiny futures of you
You left me needing adapters between where it hurts and the world, but none can carry the charge in one flash of the eyes of you
You wouldn't appreciate the ironies that hid inside the words and came out to keep the promise I couldn't help but make to you
You are not a person anywhere in the world any more and that one point of correspondence who might think otherwise, is not you
You are more my personal demon, the offspring of judgment, betrayal, deception, the reminder that I was never enough for you
You could be the perfect epic film that makes every other seem to lack direction, people walking out in the middle, this is not you
You must find a different moral from the horse with broken leg, one which doesn't require that it be put down, heal thyself horse, be you
You could be read as an experimenter, seeking to find a way to remove the pump without the machine failing as it did last time, at you
You in new life after new life and the dice land and perhaps the count is up, but how many times can you box the past and be you
You replicate like a virus, spreading through me to everything I am, think and do, the theme playing when my eyes close to see, you
You are an emptiness that I cannot touch but feel surrounding things, making a frame in which they are small, incomparable to you
You who never leave, who star in so many dreams, who've taught me what I can't not believe, none will be for me as you 

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